Recently, whilst reading Bessel van der Kolk’s book, “The Body Keeps The Score” about trauma and PTSD, I came across the phrase “Silence equals death”
It feels strange to think of silence in that way. Not as the place I associate with it- a warm, nourishing embrace or inner tranquility, but as an empty, insufferable, dissociative abyss.
I didn’t realize that withdrawing socially, being quiet while bearing the anxiety and dealing with the panic attacks, all alone were signs of PTSD and a cry for help.
Along with the more widely recognized symptoms such as rage or suicidal thoughts, silence and isolation accompany the post-traumatic experience.
A great deal of time and energy is spent intentionally isolating oneself. Putting an invisible, intangible, no man’s land between themselves and anything they believe might hurt them again. Withdrawing from life and loved ones can also be a way of protecting others from the disturbing elements and symptoms of the trauma, which can come as daily onslaughts.
How many times have I heard suffers of PTSD say-
“People don’t understand what I’m going through.”
Many going as far as saying-
“Nobody understands what it’s like for me and what I have gone through”
I heard myself saying something along those lines the other day when attempting to describe my near death experience. I concluded that there was no point in sharing this experience with others.
Remaining silent is not the way to go, especially if the ones we are speaking to don’t understand.
Think about it – how many times in your life have you kept quiet about something painful or harmful that happened to you because you didn’t want to appear to be weak or whiney? How many times have you felt something to be unspeakably unbearable and kept it to yourself?
How does that feel to you? To carry that suffering within you?
Sometimes we don’t speak out because we are afraid of hurting others feelings or we don’t want to upset the apple cart. Sometimes we are too embarrassed, ashamed, self-blaming and guilt-ridden to admit that we are suffering.
Of course, there are those who can’t speak out for fear of repercussions and retaliations within intimate relationships, families, and communities.
But speak out we must.
We must seek help in releasing the trauma, not just through talk therapy, or prescription drugs but by including holistic therapies such as acupuncture, craniosacral massage, osteopathy, herbal medicines and many others, tailored to meet the needs of each person and help them to regain themselves.
Do you have something inside you that is eating away at you? An anxiety? A fear or dread the origins of which you do not know of? Let me help you begin your healing through these 3 simple steps.
Step One – Perhaps the most difficult is admitting to yourself that you are suffering. What is making you suffer? Can you identify the cause or even the symptoms you feel? Ask yourself: Do I want the discomfort to end? If the answer is yes, then proceed to step two.
Step Two – Be willing to seek help. Know that you can open that door by talking to someone who will truly listen to you and without judgement. I would recommend speaking to someone who has experience in this field and can help guide you to therapies and specialists for your needs. Family and friends can be supportive but may not have the necessary tools available to them to help you heal deeply.
Step Three – Allow yourself the possibility to heal. Sometimes, we become so entranced by the negative state we are in that we imagine/experience it as never ending. Take a deep breath and know that nothing lasts forever, everything ends, including the suffering you experience. So, imagine that YOU can heal.
These 3 steps are just a start and I realize that, so, I would like to offer you a FREE discovery session with me to go deeper. It will be my honour to guide you.
“If money were no concern, what would you be doing right now?”
Every one of us has come across this question in our lives. Many of us know exactly what we would be doing and some even have ideas and plans on how to get there. So why aren’t we at least en route? Why have we yet to take even the first steps to get there? To those questions, there are a million different excuses and reasons, most of which seem valid.
Here are a few classics to jog your memory:
- Waiting for the right time
- Waiting for a sign (burning bushes, swooping hawks, astrological alignment etc)
- A ‘bad feeling’ in your gut
- Fear of failure
- Worrying about negative outcomes
- Waiting for permission
- Lack of experience
- Lack of funds
- Lack of time or just no time to waste
- Taking care of others’ needs before your own
Are these really what have stopped you from following your dreams?
Ask yourself the following questions:
- What has brought me to this point in my life? Which ideas, decisions and beliefs?
- What would my life and career look like if I were tuned in, raring to go with my action muscles rippling?
- How would my relationships change if I were my best, most joyful, and playful self?
- If I were completely honed in on any task at hand, with keen intuition and a sharp mind, how much could I accomplish with grace and ease?
You can be all of those things and so much more.
Where will this energy come from; to think differently, to take action?
It will come from you. Right here, right now, and the first step is understanding the problem. So please, take a few minutes of your time, a good measure of objectivity, a pen, paper and give the first 2 steps an honest assessment and effort, then finish steps 3 and 4.
Step 1: Identify your dreams by their parts
Make a list of tasks, dreams, and aspirations that you want percolating in your life now
And remember to use how you want to feel as a guide to anchor your dreams in reality.
Some ideas to start you off:
- Feeling abundant: do philanthropic work that helps the world, and feeds your soul
- Feeling spacious and relaxed: create passive income streams, spending more time doing what you love
- Feeling aligned with your intuition: let your strong inner knowing guide your decisions, and fine tune your goals
- Feeling blissful: when you interact with your family or partner, center your consciousness on a feeling of peace and acceptance
Step 2: Pinpoint your excuses
Identify your reasons for not following your dreams
Are the above reasons constant companions and all the while your joy, creativity, and life-affirming muscles wither away into sadness, depression, anxiety, anger, or envy? Leave no stone unturned.
Step 3: Give your body a physical boost
Find a quiet spot to sit or stand. Take a deep breath, and flood your body with oxygen from head to toe. Then, calmly exhale. After you do this a few times, roll your hands into loose fists. From there, gently, begin to drum on your chest – just below your clavicles, by your thymus.
Do this for a few minutes. Feel yourself getting stronger, continue to breathe deeply, and empty your mind, body, and soul of all the day-to-day worries blocking your way. You will feel your body awakening as this circulation-stimulating exercise gets your blood pumping.
Take a few more deep breaths, and feel the shift happening in your body. Finally, shake your hands and arms loose. Fantastic!
Step 4: Take the next step. Then the next one.
Now you’ve given yourself the physical supercharge you need, your mind will be ready to tackle the task at hand. Be conscious of distractions and excuses prickling at you, and let them pass through you one by one. If you need to, refer back to the lists you made in the 1st and 2nd steps, and remind yourself of what you are doing and why. Remember that the excuses nothing more than pesky inner thoughts trying to hold you back.
If you find yourself drifting off or getting unfocused, use the exercise to refresh your focus.
Now your turn. What dreams have you manifested and what obstacles did you overcome? Dreams are important, keep dreaming and be willing to see them come alive.
Cryotherapy -240 degrees Fahrenheit
To rise and shine: Jump out of bed,
Rub your belly whilst patting your head.
Bike down a hill, build up a sweat.
Exhale for longer than you inhaled that breath
Try something new and not just the same.
Try to win a staring contest with a candle flame!
Not quite your style. Not quite your thing?
Take a dive into cold water or make yourself sing!
You said you wanna be startin’ something… let’s start something.
I am traveling the world this month; visiting family, attending 2 weddings, celebrating several birthdays, and I am committing to bringing some new things with me this visit. A bit of sass, some first class joy, and liberating pulses of light.
Family time is precious, but can be challenging. We can fall into old roles and pick up where we left off as teenagers. Finding the right emotional distance/closeness is critical in helping to establish fresh boundaries and healthy exchanges, respectfully.
Starting something, especially when it’s starting within one’s own family, can be one of the hardest challenges a person ever faces, but it is also one of the most rewarding. I know that for some, who have experienced deep wounds from within the family, it can feel impossible and even damaging to be with family. If that is the case for you, then there are other ways to start something new. If at all possible, gently as possible see where the wounds are and ask yourself:
“What would I like to experience instead of these wounds? Are these wounds meant to be here forever?”
Breathe and with kindness allow yourself to see and hear what your body wants.*
For others, the challenge can be completely different. We sometimes find ourselves locked up in time capsules when it comes to relationships and that can really stop us from connecting to the “startin’ something” feeling. Break free of these restraints by doing something, anything that will jolt you into wakefulness.
For each of us, there will be different activities that ignite the spark of wakefulness: for some it will be dancing while for others, it might be speaking truth in order to jump stars stagnant relationships. For many of us it might take a dunking in freezing water to shake loose the startin’ something energy
Whatever it is do it. DO IT. Because we wanna be startin’ something.
Happy trails, my lovely friends.
* If you need help in healing old wounds or you find yourself spinning your wheels in relationships that feel like they will never work then I can help. Give me a shout and let’s make this life a great life.
Navjit here. This may feel like an odd note to receive, but I wanted to reach out to you because things have been changing within me. I need to clear my head and speak with you directly.
I want to tell you that I feel you and I am so glad that you are part of my life. I feel your presence when I look at the stars or see my Leo singing as he works on a project.
I feel you bursting out of my heart when I feel the wind dancing through the trees and swirling through my hair.
I feel you nudge my face into a wide smile when the puppies leap and yip and friends hug me through and through.
Joy, you are ever true and light, light, light. Sometimes, I latch onto you and you spin me through the universe until I slip through the cosmic seams, weightless, in rapture-filled delight.
You rise through the cells of my body as bubbles and giggles. You break apart even the deepest logic with your holographic gaze. You were the first to introduce me to bliss, satori, nirvana – these distant friends.
I want to let you know that the excuses I’ve always used, to explain to myself why I keep you small inside and hidden from the world, although familiar, have grown old and do not fit as well as they used to. I no longer feel the need to be defensive, or get awkward or uncomfortable when I’m out, socially in the world. I’m just not afraid that I’ll make others feel that way anymore either.
So, I’m embracing you fully and letting it show to everyone because I know that just like a hummingbird, you are fast and a conduit for sweet transformation. I offer you my body, my mind, my heart and give you the keys to my kingdom to uplift and transform, to sing the glories of matter, energy, and light.
Thank you, my love, joy.
Your forever friend.