A few days ago, Havana departed from this world and went to her final resting place. Despite the agony that consumed her body, her indomitable spirit remained intact. She sought solace in the comfort of our embraces, slept a great deal and yet we couldn’t ignore the telltale signs of her increasing suffering.
We reluctantly faced the inevitable, confronting the unfathomable task of deciding the when, where, and how of her final moments.Although we were aware that this would alleviate her pain, the thought of ending her life filled us with distress.
It’s an intricate and bewildering place to navigate, to switch gears from being their guardian and nurturer to assuming the role of their “executioner”. The weight of this responsibility poses numerous challenges, sparking a multitude of questions, and doubts, and the recognition of the hopelessness that fills this landscape.
But this isn’t the first time I’ve grappled with the complexities that arise in end-of-life scenarios. I’ve been exploring these conversations for decades trying to understand what death is all about, both with and without the biases that culture, society, and religion provides.
I’ve had the privilege of witnessing both humans and animals draw closer to their final breaths and from these experiences, I have learned that death is timelessness. It is a vastness that we can barely grasp. It is a rarified, pristine space. It is a return to a home we never left. Death is in some ways easier than dying.
Dying on the other hand can be a messy, fraught, difficult-to-bear-witness affair. Not always but often enough.
Today, I invite you to join me on a thought-provoking journey as we continue to delve into the depths of this existential realm, questioning our beliefs and perceptions surrounding life, choices, and the fear of death.
Embedded deep within our beings lies an innate instinct for survival. From the moment we draw our first breath, our entire being is primed to safeguard our existence. Yet, amidst this inherent drive, questions and circumstances arise where we ask: Is it permissible to contemplate the end of our lives?
For most of human existence the taking of one’s life was considered taboo and unforgivable but these days many countries, societies, and faiths recognize the necessity of ending pain for those suffering terminal health conditions by providing assisted suicide. Compassion is now allowed to be a part of the decision-making process. That is progress of some kind.
But what about people suffering from depression or debilitating anxiety who want to end their lives? Should they not have the same level of support and compassion? Or those suffering from economic hardship or hunger? Addiction or abuse? Should these individuals have to bear the brunt of hardship and misery for their whole lives? Should they be able to bow out? Can we say I’m tapping out without having to continue being in pain or facing insurmountable challenges?
Could I say I’m complete with this life and ready to let go? Would that be bearable for those left behind?
Societies as a whole must grapple with these questions. What support can we provide for those suffering in whatever form and what happens when none of the interventions alleviate the suffering? Contemplating these inquiries for ourselves opens the possibility for better understanding and perhaps even less fear of death and dying.
Our perceptions of life and death are intricately interwoven with the cultural tapestry surrounding us. From ancient philosophies to modern-day ideologies, diverse beliefs shape our understanding of mortality and influence the choices available to us. But let us pause for a moment and challenge these inherited convictions. Are they constraining our perspectives, preventing us from exploring alternative narratives? Shouldn’t individuals be granted the autonomy to make their own choices regarding the end of life?
In a world entrenched in the fear of death, it may seem inconceivable to envision a time when such trepidation would cease to exist. Yet, let us dare to dream. What if, through collective introspection and a reimagining of our relationship with mortality, we could embrace death as an integral part of the human experience? What if we could approach the end of life with acceptance and grace, liberated from the chains of fear that bind us?
With Love,
Navjit