The other night, I felt a prickling feeling dance on my skin and an inexplicable tightening gripped my stomach. “Death is here,” I heard myself say. In my mind’s eye I imagined it as a specter looking my way from a distance. I had been expecting it for a few weeks. Now it is here for our beloved dog, Havana Little Sister. She is our 16 year old Bichon Frise, sister to Romeo and a beloved family member.
Death stirs so many different feelings and sensations in my body and mind. A part of me instinctively denies the possibility of Havana’s death, a part of me accepts the reality of death’s part in all our lives, a part wants to run away and hide from the big feelings that have been simmering in the background.
Havana Little Sister is dying and I don’t want her to be in pain or be afraid as her little body begins to shut down.
She is quiet, calm and almost nonchalant to what’s unfolding. It is me who cries and is flooded with a thousand emotions. I tell her I love her. I tell her it’s ok for her to go. She looks at me with a profound focus for a few moments, pushing past my thoughts and ideas, past my inner tension and into a stillness. It feels unfathomable and wise at the same time.
I feel she is telling me, “I am not your story about me. I am doing it differently. Trust me. Let me show you something new. I am the moment. And the moment is endless and timeless.” I see her fearless grace as she inches towards her final days/breaths of this life and I in turn am given the opportunity to rise up and embrace the churning in my stomach and sit with this transformation taking place with an open heart and keep opening it.
She will go to the resting place maybe today or maybe in a week. Perhaps she will die unassisted or perhaps we will have to help her. This is that time to listen to her and to trust that we will make the right decision
Thank you for reading this post.…Yes, sharing the news about Havana to some extent is my way of dealing with the imminent event, but also my way of starting a conversation about death and dying… I would love to hear from you. We have all encountered death personally and collectively. Are there beliefs around death and dying that you would like to explore? Let’s do this together to generate a better understanding for ourselves of what it is we fear and why compassion is so important when dealing with those fears.
In Part Two, next week, we continue to delve into the depths of this existential realm, questioning our beliefs and perceptions surrounding life, choices, and our eternal fear of death. Stay tuned.
Don’t forget each Saturday, we meet for My Weekly Meditation where we sit together, from different parts of the world and open the portals of our consciousness. Join us.
With Love,
Navjit