Recently, whilst reading Bessel van der Kolk’s book, “The Body Keeps The Score” about trauma and PTSD, I came across the phrase “Silence equals death”
It feels strange to think of silence in that way. Not as the place I associate with it- a warm, nourishing embrace or inner tranquility, but as an empty, insufferable, dissociative abyss.
I didn’t realize that withdrawing socially, being quiet while bearing the anxiety and dealing with the panic attacks, all alone were signs of PTSD and a cry for help.
Along with the more widely recognized symptoms such as rage or suicidal thoughts, silence and isolation accompany the post-traumatic experience.
A great deal of time and energy is spent intentionally isolating oneself. Putting an invisible, intangible, no man’s land between themselves and anything they believe might hurt them again. Withdrawing from life and loved ones can also be a way of protecting others from the disturbing elements and symptoms of the trauma, which can come as daily onslaughts.
How many times have I heard suffers of PTSD say-
“People don’t understand what I’m going through.”
Many going as far as saying-
“Nobody understands what it’s like for me and what I have gone through”
I heard myself saying something along those lines the other day when attempting to describe my near death experience. I concluded that there was no point in sharing this experience with others.
Remaining silent is not the way to go, especially if the ones we are speaking to don’t understand.
Think about it – how many times in your life have you kept quiet about something painful or harmful that happened to you because you didn’t want to appear to be weak or whiney? How many times have you felt something to be unspeakably unbearable and kept it to yourself?
How does that feel to you? To carry that suffering within you?
Sometimes we don’t speak out because we are afraid of hurting others feelings or we don’t want to upset the apple cart. Sometimes we are too embarrassed, ashamed, self-blaming and guilt-ridden to admit that we are suffering.
Of course, there are those who can’t speak out for fear of repercussions and retaliations within intimate relationships, families, and communities.
But speak out we must.
We must seek help in releasing the trauma, not just through talk therapy, or prescription drugs but by including holistic therapies such as acupuncture, craniosacral massage, osteopathy, herbal medicines and many others, tailored to meet the needs of each person and help them to regain themselves.
Do you have something inside you that is eating away at you? An anxiety? A fear or dread the origins of which you do not know of? Let me help you begin your healing through these 3 simple steps.
Step One – Perhaps the most difficult is admitting to yourself that you are suffering. What is making you suffer? Can you identify the cause or even the symptoms you feel? Ask yourself: Do I want the discomfort to end? If the answer is yes, then proceed to step two.
Step Two – Be willing to seek help. Know that you can open that door by talking to someone who will truly listen to you and without judgement. I would recommend speaking to someone who has experience in this field and can help guide you to therapies and specialists for your needs. Family and friends can be supportive but may not have the necessary tools available to them to help you heal deeply.
Step Three – Allow yourself the possibility to heal. Sometimes, we become so entranced by the negative state we are in that we imagine/experience it as never ending. Take a deep breath and know that nothing lasts forever, everything ends, including the suffering you experience. So, imagine that YOU can heal.
These 3 steps are just a start and I realize that, so, I would like to offer you a FREE discovery session with me to go deeper. It will be my honour to guide you.