Is it painful being you?

The Hive – Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew

Has anyone ever told you to, “Just be yourself”? Did you try? Was it comfortable or did you find that being yourself also meant confronting self-doubt, fears of failure, painful memories? And, let’s not forget the pain of not fully realizing your dreams, financial or health goals.

How wonderful would it be to unshackle external definitions of success, beauty or self-worth and shed layers of beliefs hiding our light, our radiant hearts, our curiosity and compassion for our world and ourselves?

Being ourselves is not always easy. We look at it through a certain lens and it feels like there is no room to move or breathe without the pressure of showing up in the world as a successful, self-confident human being.

But that’s only one way of looking at this conversation. Thankfully, there are other ways to perceive of ourselves. I’d like to offer this list of possibilities as a way of expanding the axis upon which we measure or see ourselves.

Each suggestion is a complete exercise and would benefit from repeat practice and contemplation.

1 Breathe – take a moment to breathe in through your nostrils, slowly and evenly. Pause and then exhale out slowly and evenly. As you do this imagine the first breath being taken on this planet. Imagine the first lungs: expanding and contracting. Imagine your loved ones breathing. Visualize your breath dissolving into the air and arising out of the air. Watch what happens to your thoughts and energy as you imagine these suggestions.

2 Choose A VibrationOur bodies are made of cells, which are made of atoms, which are made of particles, and those particles are actually just vibrating energy. … if you could vibrate, what energy would it be? Peace? Love? Know how you want to feel and go ahead and feel it in your whole body. Once you can feel it in your whole body let it pour out of you, rippling into the world. What does it feel like?

Is it painful being you? 5 ways to fix that.

Freddie Mercury –

















3 Strip – strip away identities/feelings that don’t suit you, fit you or appeal to you. If you don’t want to feel sad anymore or like a failure just walk away from those painful feelings. Move towards something that excites you. Imagine walking from heavier feelings to lighter ones. Sit down and really give yourself some time to do this. It takes patience and practice. Go for it. I believe in you!

You can also just strip off your clothes to some cool music for the fun of it!

4 Bolt – one of my favourite exercises ever!  Sometimes in life, we just want to run away from it all and hide. I say go ahead and do it literally. Here’s what I do: I open the front door of my house and make sure I am wearing a decent pair of shoes that can handle running and then I BOLT. I run without thinking as hard and as fast and for long as I can. When I can’t run anymore I stop and usually find myself laughing. I feel free and out of the cage. Try it.

5 Give It Away – give something away that you would find difficult to give away. It could be your favourite pair of shoes or $20 instead of $10. A smile instead of a frown.

I am suggesting this exercise because we all want so much more or we feel we have so little when in fact, the opposite is quite true. Break the spell and let yourself burst out to discover the abundance that is within you.

When we see ourselves from a higher ground or stop to take in the view or meet a stranger, a refugee with a glad heart, we are transformed. It is not painful being us then because we perceive ourselves in our true size: expansive, unlimited, willing, inclusive, radiant.

Are you ready to be yourself and be comfortable with that? Is something else holding you back? I’m here for you when you ready to unlock your potential.

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