(This is part 3 of the “Fixing yourself for future success” series. Have you read the 2 previous posts: Can You Fix Failure? and, Breaking The Spell of Repeat Failures? If you haven’t yet, please have a look at them when you get a chance or if you want to follow the steps in order).
In Step One, Breaking the Spell of Repeat Failures, I had you look at memories in which you allowed fear to take the lead instead of following your desired feelings. What did you discover? Are there any lingering negative patterns from yesteryear that you would like to vanquish?
For many of us, fear or survival consciousness (subtle whisperings such as how are we going to pay the bills if you decide to start writing that travel book? Or, too many others are already doing this or you’re not good enough) can distract us by sounding very logical and rational. It is up to us to be on our toes and question the thoughts and assumptions as to their validity and purpose as they arise within our minds, shape our lives, and inflict upon our future success.
An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without evidence or proof.
That sport’s day, I had arrived to compete in the race, full of my own self-inflicted assumptions and fears. Some were absorbed from my family, whilst others were a pre-existing mish mosh of anxieties about not being good enough, being a middle child and so on.
I did not know that those anxieties and fears arose from assumptions within me.
Q: What were some of your assumptions you made that day?
A: That no one would cheer for me. I was an outsider, different and I was the wrong color to win. I had upset the order of things.
Q: What evidence do you have to back up the assumptions?
A: No one cheered for me. People looked at me funnily after I won. No one congratulated me.
Q: What conclusions did you make?
A: Better not to win because I am going to get negative attention and my win felt like I didn’t deserve to win. No one cheered for me because I was the wrong color.
Q: Do you know for sure that that is what those people were thinking?
Q: What do you know for sure?
A: I felt nervous and afraid that day anyway. Winning the race just added to something that was there already.
Q: Did those assumptions and conclusions make a positive impact on your life?
A: No. They made me close down and feel like a failure.
Q: What would happen if you could let go of those assumptions, ie no one cheered for you because of your color, people looked at you funnily, you are a failure?
A: I would feel freer. Maybe even less burdened. As I sit with that idea and become quiet, I imagine different outcomes for me. Maybe I could be a winner, come in first for a change!
This is a small example of breaking down assumptions, why don’t you give it a go and see if you can uncover some of your assumptions that no longer serve you.
A new path
One of the best ways to identify and let go of assumptions is to employ your inner voice or intuition to the task. Want to try? You may be surprised by what you learn here.
Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Allow yourself to relax for a few moments as you inhale and exhale. Now on your next breath in ask your inner voice, your Higher Self to show you a current failure creating assumption that you need to release. You may need to repeat the question a few times, just listen quietly for the answer, it may come as a feeling, or a knowing or words and images.
Once you perceive the assumption take a moment to feel what it creates in your life, the pulse and scope of its reach into your life. Be rigorous in your reflection here.
Now take another deep breath and ask your body where you hold this assumption/s in your body. We store the stories of our lives in our bodies and our assumptions are stories. Feel into your body. Listen by quietening down the mind and distractions. Once you can locate the assumption, ask that place in your body what color it wants to be released. Take the first color you perceive and imagine it pouring into that body part. Use all your imagination muscles to visualize the assumption dissolving. Become free of it.
Inhale slowly and feel what has shifted within you. Is there more space? Quiet? Connection? Give yourself a few moments to be in this energy before opening your eyes.
Make some notes on what you learned and released in this exercise.
Failure is not a forgone conclusion. Its existence is fuelled by us subtly and overtly. We can untangle ourselves by taking the simple steps I have outlined in this and the previous 2 posts.
Now your turn, what does your future success look like without the failure narrative? Are there assumptions that you need help identifying? Contact me and let’s get you on your way to brighter futures.