When I was 22, a journey that began at birth culminated with this question:
“Is there more to life than this?”
At the time, “this” meant a future in law, an arranged marriage, and a sense of not truly understanding my purpose for being. Though I had no idea how to find the answers, I knew I had to start looking – and fast.
Why fast? Because I felt like my being was slowly dissolving. I was steadily morphing into something other than myself.
So I wandered about like a blind tiger, searching desperately for answers for the big questions. “Who am I?” “What is my life purpose?” And more importantly, “ Was there space in the world for me?” My quest for truth took me as far as the US, where I found a book.
In the opening pages of that book, I discovered the start of an entirely new journey for me – one brimming with possibility and purpose.
“I was to hold many innocents at the moment of death. Many of them. I had to teach my heart to let go of the resistance, to not wail for a reprieve. Each time, though, there was an excruciating pierce to the heart, followed by increasing capacity to join in the celebration of merging with God” Ecstasy is a New Frequency, Chris Griscom.
Chris wrote about her experiences as a Peace Corps counselor in El Salvador, where she experienced firsthand the nation’s high infant mortality rates. There was such moving honesty and power in the lessons she learned about compassion, love and expansion that the way to Santa Fe, New Mexico lit up for me.
Another journey started with these lines from Jim Morrison:
Shake dreams from your hair. My pretty child, my sweet one. Choose the day and choose the sign of your day. The day’s divinity. First thing you see. – Jim Morrison. Singer, Shaman
Morrison’s songs and poetry lifted me out of passivity and ignited a quiet rebellion in me against constriction and towards consciousness. I learned I had a voice, and that my voice was my direction home.
New paths in our lives can begin in the most unexpected ways – with a thudding epiphany, a few sentences in a book, a poem, a song… while the spark may be unexpected, when it is felt, it calls to be followed.
I have followed the call and all of my journeys have led me to this present moment, NOW. And within this NOW, I can look back, and into the future, sideways and upwards. This Now continues to blossom and I see the multi-dimensional layers of this reality and myself. I am no longer compressed or homeless.
New possibilities arise and collaborate with my consciousness without promise or fanfare. They beckon the deeper me to unfold. I move towards that call.
This call is not only for me, it is for all of us – to remember that we are deeper, rooted in our connectivity and that bliss is in our cells.
I am ready to remember.
What journeys have led you to your NOW? Please share your adventures and milestones on my Facebook fan page. I would love to hear from you.
Artwork: Ruwa (Journey through the night)
Nelson Kurnirnarra Bieundurry